“This is the other secret that real artists know and wannabe writers don’t. When we sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us. The Muse takes note of our dedication. She approves. We have earned favor in her sight. When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attracts iron filings. Ideas come. Insights accrete.”
I have to admit I live with fear everyday. I do have self doubt and I know to the core of my being what I am doing is absolutely right for me, not you or my neighbor or co-worker or family member but for moi. Decades of living and learning through some painful and terrifying experiences I have learned stop thinking the path before you is not the right one. It is your path not the collective sum of all others but unique to your life. Stop resisting and learn to answer the tug in your gut telling you to follow that scary road.
Learning the difference between fear due to danger and fear due to the unknown takes experience and time. Understanding the subtle signs and gut reactions also takes finesse and understanding all which comes with living your life.
Today I started another watercolor and realized I have conformed, feelings of doubt and resistance to even create was work. When I am working I find out the most amazing qualities about myself through the process of creating. Maybe it is because when I am truly present, what it is I am here to do (not being to full of myself) creating art, I hear whispers. Soulful nature divine spiritual whispers from a little voice we all hear to many times but never pay attention to what it is telling us. I need to pay attention and I need to create everyday.
I am busy doing so much to get to a place that when I get there I may not be any better off than I am right now. Sometimes we keep ourselves moving doing and thinking, we are not feeling the fear and our doing becomes more, the resistance becomes overwhelming. An important person in my life used to use the word insurmountable when things ratcheted up a notch and I knew it was her way of avoiding the fear. The word would make me cringe. We together had some tough experiences and the word did fit but the fear never went away and never did the resistance become less. Funny thing now this dear soul passed and when I hear the word I know it is time to buckle down face the fear and move forward.
Fear is a part of life and I have found it can be friendly. Fear reminds me of the old cranky person who comes across as mean, no one likes the person and the children stay clear. The cranky person does not mind because this is the purpose of its life and has never known another way of living. We know, I know there is.
When you face the fear in your life and allow for the creative nature inside to emerge, life is worth it. I am an artist. I can understand the quote for when I create I face the biggest fear I have which is am I good enough.
What is it you need to face about you or your life?